Principles of Lifecoping
LIFECOPING has three key principles which form the building blocks of our client relationships:
REALITY - Where are you now?
We all have a tendency to invent our own truth rather than to see what is real. And we can be very reluctant to abandon what we have taken so much trouble to create. We firstly look at the reality of your world - both internal and external - and examine your perceived and actual strengths and weaknesses, desires and fears, beliefs and attitudes. LIFECOPING believes that honesty with yourself and others about how your world really is, is a vital component of good emotional health, self-esteem and the ability to achieve your aims and cope with life's difficulties. Your relationship of trust, openness, honesty and complete confidentiality with your LIFECOPING consultant is the key to overcoming cherished illusions which hold you back and to seeing things as they really are.
MEANING - What is the purpose of your life?
The second principle of LIFECOPING is based on the belief that a fundamental component of being human is the search for meaning in life. It is impossible to enjoy good long term emotional health and live a happy, productive life without goals, aims, things you want to do, that provide your life with purpose, with meaning. This may come from work, from relationships, leisure activities or from a spritual dimension in your life. A rich variety of things which provide meaning is ideal so that the loss of one - a relationship, for example, or a job - is not devastating to your ability to cope. We explore with you what you REALLY want in life (and this may be different from your current assumptions), what gives your life purpose and meaning and creates the right balance for you.
CHANGE - What will you do?
LIFECOPING believes that contentment/happiness is not something that can be sought as an end in itself. Rather it is a mental state which arises out of living a meaningful, productive life. A life of long term emotional resilience arises out of doing things, making choices, taking decisions and actions. Some people think the word "coping" has negative connotations but our favourite definition (Concise Oxford Dictionary) is "to grapple successfully." LIFECOPING involves taking life by the scruff of the neck and being active not passive, living it, not letting it pass you by. We help you develop a plan to enable you to grapple successfully with life. Often it will involve change, sometimes radical change. The changes may be external or they may be in the ways you think, your attitudes and beliefs. This is where the talking stops and the hard work of LIFECOPING starts. People resist change fiercely because it is often scary. They adopt all sorts of strategies - even occasionally making themselves ill - to avoid change. Making a major life change - changing job or relationship for example, or adding a spiritual dimension to your life - can be difficult and painful. LIFECOPING helps you challenge and if necessary change those beliefs and attitudes that hold you back and prevent you from coping with change and supports you through the changes you need to make so as to engage fully with life.
Key to the effectiveness of LIFECOPING is the quality of the relationship we establish with our clients. The LIFECOPING rtelationship is caring, supportive, open and honest. It is based on listening and encouraging and, when necessary, challenging you to find your own path and reach your own conclusions. But, where appropriate, LIFECOPING is not afraid to provide insight, opinion and advice based on knowledge and experience.
Please see the Profile of senior LIFECOPING consultant William Mills.
